All Hail the Mighty Ezekiel

This cat can solve America's obesity problems, because it eats fat kids.

We're not worried about Oklahoma's killer bees. Because Zeke EATS BEES.

(I think you see where this is going.)

Tainted cat food? Zeke watched the other household cats keel over from the poison, nudged them and said, "You gonna eat that?"

Zeke almost got run over by a car once. Except the car that hit Zeke required metal detectors to pick up the pieces that were later sold for scrap.

When Zeke coughs up hairballs, they are placed strategically along I-70 and billboards are erected declaring "World's Largest Ball of Twine."

Let's not talk about the litterbox. Kay? Kay.