Spam of the Day

"SPERMAMAX is a scientifically validated herbal nutritional blend to enhance fertility by improving sperm quality, count and motility (spontaneous motion).

SPERMAMAX is formulated to:
+ Improve overall sperm production
+ Improve sperm quality
+ Improve sperm integrity
+ Improve sperm motility
+ Improve sperm morphology

This premium combination of herbs, vitamins and minerals improves overall health and helps address many of the deficiencies known to decrease fertility health."

This came in our inbox today....and we gotta wonder...who writes these? And where is "sperm motility" a must-have quality? Don't these things originate in, like, Lebanon? When we start getting spam about a product that makes sperm really, really lazy, that's when we'll sign up. The ad will be like:

SPERMADOZE

SPERMADOZE is scientifically created to:
+ Make sperm more palatable. Flavors range from pina colada to banana laffy taffy to popcorn shrimp. Coming soon: barbeque!
+ Make sperm surprising colors upon exposure to air! Your choice of hot pink, electric chartreuse and aqua blue. Coming soon: glow in the dark!
+ Make sperm drunk and lethargic and thus unable to make it to your girlfriend's egg and screw up her career...be a dear and run to the fridge and get sperm a beer, will you, baby? The game's on.

Oh, wait. We forgot to write this in broken English. I guess we'll have to outsource it to Prague for translation before we debut SPERMADOZE to the world.